Life is not always easy to live, but the opportunity to do so is a blessing beyond comprehension. In the process of living, we will face struggles, many of which will cause us to suffer and to experience pain. - L. Lionel Kendrick
I'm sorry I have not written in a while. I'm here to be honest as well as show you that even I do not always practice what I preach. I do not have it all figured out. Since I started this journey I have always said, I will never stop learning.
As you know, if you have been following, I made a choice to make big changes in my life that brought me a peace and finding myself daily. I moved to a beautiful place. I began school that will allow me to be of servitude to others. And I started a job I loved. However, I was so conditioned in always seeking the approval or attention of those I loved most, even those that had no meaning to me, that I fell back into old habits.
On June 25th 2018 I sufford and Acute Ischemic Stroke. With change you must have repetition. What you put out there most definitely comes back to you. I was studying constantly at night and weekends for work and school. Along with still having a teenager at home. Suddenly there I was doing to myself as I always had. Instead of being grateful, I was constantly worrying about being great. And let me tell you, these habits are not good for the mind or body.
The left side of my body is weak and parts have only a tingling sensation. The vision in my left eye is blurred. My speech has improved, however when I have anxiety, get frustrated or upset, the aphasia kicks in. My writing has improved the most. And during all of this, my employer let me go from my job since I was the only one full time working in our second office.
We all fall of track when we decide to create change in our lives. Especially when its decades of habit you are changing. I began to beat myself up over this. But what good does that do me? It's what got me here. Positive affirmation is key.
I had forgotten to be grateful and live in the moment, Meditation, prayer, and taking care of our bodies with healthy nutrition are all EXTREMELY essential parts of daily life. I realize everyone's process is different. Our bodies and minds are not all the same. We must find what it is that works best for ourselves. Whatever that is, I encourage you strongly to find it.
This is another lesson in my journey. One I certainly would have loved to skip. However, I'm going to be grateful for even this of all things. Because it has put me back on course.
Now, it's time to get myself back up, and begin therapy and all the things that help me to be the person I love within me.