To create something exceptional, your mindset must be relentlessly focused on the smallest detail. – Giorgio Armani
Our mind is the most powerful tool we can have in our arsenal. Most of us know this. If we didn’t before, now days, we do. Yet so many of us still CHOOSE to grab the closest tool in our reach. Which is the only thing we know. That the environment that we put ourselves in or the environment in which we grew up in provides us with "preset" tools so to speak. This can keep us learning anything new. That limits the use of the most powerful tool we have been gifted with, our mindset.
The words we hear, or the words we tell ourselves is what our reality is going to be. However, there are those whom are lucky enough to have grown and taught that we have choices. Encouraged to dream bigger. Encouraged to step out of our comfort zone. Encouraged to stand out and not be afraid to try something new. Or as my husband use to tell our boys “be better than us.” In our best of years and in our toughest of years, he always told them “be better than us.”
That is what we should want for our children. We should always encourage the next generation to go even farther. To dream bigger. To do better. Unfortunately, there are some of us that have always had limits put on us. And as we get older, we put them on ourselves. I want to show my boys or be an example to others that there are more choices. That they can be whomever they want to be. And no matter what, they are still lovable, they are still worthy.
I grew up with one extreme to the other. Every other weekend I had too many limits and felt as if I could not just be myself and be loved anyway. And the rest of the time I had none at all. Actually, I take that back, there were times that I had just the right balance. And that was when I was with my Grandmother. She always told me to live to my potential. And today, I do just that. Which changes every day as I grow.
There have been many changes over the last few years for my boys and I. Mostly my youngest and I. My oldest son left for college soon after we lost his father. It seemed it was one blow after another. But the biggest blow that came at us, was all it took for me to want different, want more. To finally see that I do have choices. I had choices a long time ago. I just didn’t choose the right ones. I chose what was comfortable to me. And what was comfortable to me was not always healthy for me.
At times, I see my youngest son struggling with all that has come our way. He will start to use it as a crutch. (He has been the most affected out of my 2 boys.) I used to feel guilty when I would see this happen because though he used them as a crutch, he is still carries so much pain. Maybe even more so now as he has suffered more loss and change recently. I was doing him an injustice. I still struggle myself on choosing what is the right way to handle these times with him. But because I want more for him, and I want him to know the value of his worth, I chose this path that I am on right now for myself first, but also to show him that he is old enough now to make his own choices. And it all starts within himself.
Re-wiring our brain is not always easy. He is lucky enough to be learning decades ahead of myself. The more time that you let go by living with the limits you put on yourself, the harder it becomes to change. However, it is possible. Creating new habits is a must. Repetition is key. You have to create new thoughts. You have to imagine bigger dreams. And you have to learn to talk to yourself with encouragement of all the amazing things that you are. Not all the things that you are not or the things that could go wrong if you try.
WE hold the power. No one else does. I hold my own power. No one can hold it for me. I make my own choices. I choose what is best for me. My choice is happiness. I will protect it and I will nurture it. And I most definitely will continue to grow it. And by doing so, I am already happier than I have been in a very long time. Because my actions right now, and my words, they show my son that he can in fact do as his father always wanted for our boys. That is to “be better than us.”
Choose to believe the greatness inside you. Because that dream you have, the goal that has been sitting in the back of your mind, happiness, joy, pride, kindness, unconditional love and all the things you want to be, do, and have, are right there waiting for you. Choose the power of your mind. Do not limit it.